If you don’t, you’ll be emotionally attached to someone that drives you crazy, betrays you, or hurts you. That doesn’t sound like fun at all. You probably wouldn’t want to yell “FRIENDSHIP!” to a person that wasn’t that nice to you. So get to know the folks that interest you and open yourselves up to those that value you and value themselves. (Sounds so cheesy, but man! It’s true.)
I’m sure you’ve had a friendship go rotten. You’ve probably been betrayed. It hurts. It’s not the best, that’s for sure. (And, remember, “friendship” and “best” are synonymous for me.) You know that saying – “Be the change you want to see in the world”? Well, transform that idea a little bit and you can get to: “Be the friend you want to have.” (Word magic!)
Keep In Touch
Don’t neglect what’s important to you. If you have a great time with someone or feel like you really connect with them, invest in that relationship. That’s how strong friendships are made. Time is precious and sharing it with another person in a casual and comfortable way is an easy way to feel happy. “Hangin’ out.” When no one’s working, no one’s leaving a voicemail, and when there’s just enough time carved out of the evening to complain about how broke we all are.
Friendships can become stale just like any other relationship. The best way to keep that from happening is to keep it fresh. (Go figure.) Surprise them with a little gift. Send them a random note. Stop in their workplace with an iced coffee. Share with them something that excites you.
Don’t Grow In A Monoculture
Just like corn shouldn’t all be grown together and soy shouldn’t all be grown together, people shouldn’t all be grown together either. Diversity is an imperative in biology. Human tribes and communities are no different. I have local food friends, and book friends, and TV/movie friends, and yarn friends (not friends made out of yarn (I’m not crazy) but friends that also enjoy knitting and crocheting). Some friends are almost-everything friends. These friends and I are freakishly like-minded. They might not read Cormac McCarthy books or e.e. cummings poems, but that’s alright. I’ve got another friend for that.
Mix it up a little bit
As complex individuals, it only makes sense that we nurture a complex range of friendships.Now, if you’ve finished this post and Randy Newman’s song “You’ve Got A Friend In Me” hasn’t popped into your head yet, then I didn’t do it right.